Discontentment has deep roots in my heart. Growing up, mom always said I had a bad case of the “I wants”, like it was something I picked up on the playground. Today, not much has changed. Except that God is working in me, showing me who I am, where I need to grow, and reminding me who I am today, is not who I have to be tomorrow.
Recently, I’ve been convicted to change my heart and my desires, to become satisfied with what I’ve been given, to stop spending my days waiting for my next chapter, and read and enjoy the one I’m in, celebrate the people in my life, and let Jesus be enough.
“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” Proverbs 4:23
In this season of Lent, I’ve decided to really nurture these changes I’d like to see. I’ve never celebrated Lent before (it’s not a very Southern Baptist thing to do), but the more I study Lent, the more I like the symbolism, and the focus it brings to my life on our Savior.
All that’s to say, in order for me to cure my “I wants,” I think I need to start by clearing out the clutter. I’ve challenged myself to go through every room of our home and donate things we don’t need, I’m holding onto just in case, or for only sentimental reasons, items that serve no purpose. My goal, while clearing out, is to remind myself how I’m blessed by Jesus’ love and sacrifice and that he is enough, all of the things I’m holding onto are no comparison to him.
This song is hauntingly beautiful, I’ve had it on repeat for weeks. God’s been using it to remind me who he is and to ask me to change my heart’s desires.